IT'S HELL TRYING TO SCRUB OFF THE MARK OF THE BEAST (especially when Uncle Sam assigns you the number...)

           Here's another one from the "I Can't Believe We're Still All Fucked Up About a Dusty Two-Thousand Year Old Book of Bad Prose" department...

           I opened this morning's copy of The Tennessean (motto: "More Taylor Swift photos than any other daily newspaper in America!") expected to find that the Tennessee General Assembly had outlawed masturbation, or passed a law requiring strippers to wear burkas, but instead read the sad story of a man whose Christian faith just won't let him keep gainful employment.

         Walter Slonopas, a fifty-two year old maintenance worker (well, he USED to be a maintenance worker...) has a problem staying on the company payroll at Contech Casting LLC in Clarksville, Tennessee.  Back in April of 2011, the company issued work ID numbers and assigned Walt the clock card number "666."  Now, as anyone who's seen The Omen can tell you, that's gonna cause you some problems at the end of the movie.

            Walter Slonopas, still a proud member of Jesus' fan club...      
                                
          Mr. Slonopas refused to accept his assigned employee number, and the company agreed to change his number to "668."  There.  Everyone's happy.  But a few months later the company changed their time clock system and reassigned Walter the number "666" again.  He walked off the job in protest.  The company apologized and rehired him, and it looked as if all of the superstitious bases had been covered and work could resume.

           Then the company passed out W-2 forms to their employees, and ol' Walt's W-2 envelope had the number 000666 in the upper left corner.  Three's a charm, as far as Walter Slonopas is concerned, and he and his Bible are looking for work elsewhere as of this morning.

           I can understand an employer making exceptions for certain people.  If a guy won't run machine number 13, or refuses to take off his "I (HEART) Jesus" button while he works, no big deal... You just give the guy a new machine assignment and let him keep his lapel flag pin if that's what it takes to meet ticket.  But if you're going to have to juggle every document that comes across your desk to make certain no one's delicate numerical sensitivities are offended, well, watch your step on the way to your truck, buddy... try not to step on a crack or walk under a ladder on your way home.